Boundary Up & Show Up As Your Best Self
Hello beautiful soul!
Today, I’d like to share some key points about boundaries and how they are critical to stepping into your power and showing up as your best self.
So, what exactly are boundaries? People often mistake them for “putting up walls”, or think it’s about closing ourselves off to others. Simply put, boundaries are the ways that we proactively prepare ourselves for the world outside of us – the people, places, conversations, interactions, and everything we are exposed to around the clock.
So why learn boundaries? There are countless reasons why they are necessary. You may work with or know an aggressive person or a bully. You may have a family member or friend that triggers you often. You may be stuck in people-pleasing mode, and saying “yes” too often because you feel guilty saying no. You may be so busy, to the point of burnout. You may have “energy vampires” or things you are avoiding that you don’t know how to handle. Or you might have chronically low energy. These are all warning signs that it’s time to step up your boundaries.
Physical, mental, verbal, emotional, and energetic boundaries are absolutely essential for the workplace, at school, home, and in public, and are especially critical for those who are more intuitive, sensitive or empathetic.
Here are some quick and easy ways to use boundaries in tricky or sticky situations:
It helps to become proactive about our mind’s thoughts, and observe them as they come & go. Then we can categorize them into thoughts that work for us or against us. When we start to recognize those thoughts that don’t help us, we can let those go, and choose the ones that actually do help; and create healthier, proactive self-talk, so that we are not influenced or preoccupied by unhealthy thoughts in challenging moments.
Two key types of emotional boundaries are: emotionally availability – how much or little we give of our energy and time towards others in their time of need, and emotionally transparency – how filtered or unfiltered we are with emotional expressions. Emotional Awareness and Expressions are learnable skills we can practice. The more conscious we are of them, the more we can see that we can choosehow we emotionally respond in any situation.
What we say or don’t say can have a profound impact on relationships and outcomes. And consciously choosing how much or how little we share in each conversation and circumstance can positively affect its trajectory. And remember, no response is also a response. Silence can pack more power and grace into an interaction than a thousand words.
Many of us are getting a lot of practice enforcing physical boundaries with the social distancing mandates in many countries around the world. But physical boundaries, among other things, is also about how we express our body language, what type of physical contact we have/don’t have with personal or professional relationships, and how we carry ourselves, which can send messages to others about our interest or lack of interest in interacting. Awareness is key in guiding our moves.
This is a less tangible, but equally important type of boundary. You know that feeling when you step into a room – it can feel heavy, chaotic, welcoming or any number of other “vibes”. It’s up to us to pay attention to the energy around us & to our intuition and gut feelings, and proceed with care. Meditation, grounding exercises, breathing techniques, visualization, auric work, reiki and other methods can help us build strong energetic boundaries.
Boundaries are important. They protect us and they keep us in integrity. When we practice them faithfully, we see how they are actually acts of self-love and love for others, creating safe spaces for us all to be our beautiful, authentic selves.
If you’d like to learn more, please contact me. I look forward to hearing your comments, questions or feedback. In the meantime, have a beautiful day.